Thinking in an Another Way

Have you ever wanted to get or do something in strong desire? I think the over pursuit of something which surpass your ability to handle it or just is not the timing to let you own it can be seen as an unhealthy behavior. In my case, I want to fall in love with someone for a long~ time.... Maybe you think that is fine because it is just a natural reaction for the teenagers who have strong Hormones. It is the fact I started to lose my confidence in myself by my growing age and the growing number of my friends who have a lover.
I have never fallen in love with anyone but I had the crush on boys since I was 6, therefore I interested in love very~ early. However, I was always no chance to satisfy my fantasy about love. Gradually, I would compare me to the other girls who already have boyfriends and think what is my problem about boys couldn't crush on me. Then, my confidence was losing little by little. I thought this persistence was unhealthy to the mood. I wanted to take it easy, but I just couldn't.
I discussed this problem with friends many times whatever they encouraged me with many kind words, and I still couldn't stop to think numerously why. Someday, I mentioned the same topic to my aunt. Her thought was unexpected and interesting for me. In Buddhism, there was a noun of the debt of relationship. Its meaning was now whomever you met and interacted all because you guys also did these in previous life. Besides, supposed you did something bad to your friend in previous life, therefore you would be done something bad by this friend in present life. My aunt said maybe the reason of my single was I didn't have much debt of relationship to boys.
I was surprised that I really felt comfortable after I heard this speech. It made me believe I wasn't worse with the most of girls. I just waited for my creditors coming. Then, I found the saying of the debt of relationship very matched the thought of love I want to own, maybe it was the reason which could influence my mind. Even though I still have the expectancy for owning a lover now, I can have a positive attitude for facing single. Sometimes, the pressure in mind is hard to release but also easy by just changing our thought in a new way.
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